Confessions of COMM 200

March 1, 2011

What I would study if I had to take Prof. Crowe’s evil exam…

Filed under: Uncategorized — socatau @ 4:43 pm

I had a dream the other night (not the one about showing up for an exam in a class I forgot to attend all semester, although I am sure some of you can relate!) No, it was the dream that I was pulling together a test that would indicate whether the folks I am yammering at each week (not my children; I know they don’t listen) are learning anything.
It was quite a beautiful exam. It was structured in four parts. One part was about the stylebook A – F. These were tough questions but the people in my dream were whipping through that part like their fingers were on fire. The second part was about what we have been learning. It included things such as the information in chapter 3; the information on attributions in chapter 4; the ghoulish obit writing in chapter 5 and profiles and editorials and short-form writing styles in chapter 6. Again, the students in my dream sped through this like they were snorting something (NOT SOMETHING THEIR PROFESSOR ENCOURAGES). Some of these students even paused to thank me for the opportunity to show me what they had learned.
The third part was about tight writing and attribution. I was testing how much these smart kids had been listening when I was saying things such as “erase the words ‘massive’ and ‘impact’ from your internal spelcheck/dictionary.” My exam takers were positively giggling through this part as they streamlined sentences and remembered what was said about attribution. It was probably a good thing they got through the other parts so quickly.
In the last part they had to write. A lot. They had to write a news story; they had to write the lede through the nut graf of a profile (they were sure to include that sentence that guides the reader from the anecdotal lede to the nut graf) ; they had to write parts of an obit and parts of a persuasive piece and they had to do some breakout boxes. I gotta admit, by this time the students in my dream, while still smiling, were getting a wee bit tired. 
(Of course they were smiling because in preparing for the test, they had actually re-read the chapters, looked over quizzes and homework assignments, and tested themselves with exercizes from the book.)
Just as they were turning in their papers; my bleeping alarm started whining: time to face the day.
It wasn’t until my third cup of coffee, after I had rolled the dream around in my brain for a while, that I realized I didn’t recognise any of the happy folks taking the exam. There was no Kelsey or Kayla; no senator or HJ; the voice of God wasn’t in the corner and of course, Paul was no where to be seen. 
I guess the lesson of the dream is that you don’t prepare adequately for my exam on Thursday, send a substitute.
Study hard. Prof. Crowe


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